"Our Deepest Fears" part 2

  So i did a post about this a while back. its the movie Coach Carter. the part im talking about is when they are in the gym after the lockout ended and Timo Cruz (the thug with mix feelings of what his life should be)  stands up and answers the question Coach Carter ask through out the video. which is "what is your deepest fear?" the whole team would be in confusion with the thought.

At this part of the movie Timo answers the question finally and says "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."



The actual quote is from Nelson Mandela. in his quote theres another sentence. it says "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God."
on this past sunday. there was a girl who was ashamed of being a girl. she was  a tomboy cuz boys are so much awesomer! (true statement lol) but she just had such a hard time with coping of being a girl. finally after 15 years she accepted it. she a gorgeous, beautiful girl. but as far as going with Mandela's quote. was she the one that was asking that question... who am i to be...? im glad she bore her testimony. it really helped me out. cuz alot of the time i ask that very same question who am i to be? can i be brillant?, talented?.. i also bore my testimony. probably the best testimony meeting ive been to in a while. hear alot of great phrases. "never let your potential be limitless", "lets hang ourselves together or spiritually hang separately" such a great meeting to be apart of. everyone who shared had this qoute shot into my mind. it applied to everyone in their own way.

I truley believe this is true. ive been through sooo many trails and some days i feel like why. but i know that with our Heavenly father he will never put us through something we can't handle. i really like the line "We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone." it has been through my friends that ive been able to get through it all. as well through prayer and faith, and my wonderful siblings. we are who we are. The fact of the matter is. its what WE put in it and HOW we look at it.  and what we go through will strenghenth us in the end. i know that and testify of that.  i love this quote and i apply it to my life and recommend everyone does to. love the movie and the actors in it. a way good movie! :) i figured i put in my thoughts and such.



I apologize for not keeping up with my blog. i will try my hardest to do that! but im seeing this a great start off! ;) life is good. diabeties is great!, blood sugar is low, high blood pressure is gone! im losing weight and doing more insanity! :) can't wait to see what in store for the future.. mission? yes! love you all and especially love my family you know who you are! thanks!
Mike.

My Preparations! :)

So i bought a journal over the weekend! this is what it looks like! its a leather front and back, and has the wording of Carpe Diem on the front. when i first grabbed it i was like wha the... carpe diem.. i was total chick book! so i was with my buddy zach and he explained to me what that meant. and for those who don't know what it means let me help ya out!  it means "to seize the day" when i heard that i was really moved by it. everyone trys to size their own days. and ive had a rough life and i always had to do that. so i was emotional, spiritualy, moved so i bought it. i just wrote my first 2 pages today. all about conference what a great conference that was :). but this journal will prepare me for my mission and just to get back in the writing mode.

Im glad i bought i can already feel great things to come from this :) it should be awesome! super excited. This will set me off striaght and i get to really ponder about stuff, which i will apply to alot of things. anywho just wanted to brag about the sweet journal i bought! be jealous cuz if i didn't have this and someone else did i would totally be. haha.

TMNT!!!!

Can i honestly tell you how much i love this show!? Such a great movie all are my favorites to watch. you have the first one TMNT where they are first born and really find out what it is about being a family. then you have TMNT Secret of the ooze and they find out how they were born, as well as finishing off the Shrat dude! (Sherrder) then you have the TMNT 3 where they are timed traveled to japan in the early hundreds of samurais and cannons.

Anyways! my favorite part of the 2nd movie is where they are dancing in the middle of the Vanilla ice concert! heres a picture if you don't remember!

Such a great dance! they turtles know go to get down! haha. i love it. i wanna learn now too! ha who is in with me? lets do it eh. lets do it! haha. i just love the bond between this brothers. it reminds me alot of my me and my sibs. i saw this movie last night with a friend. who is having a hard time. so i brought him back to his childhood adn man he was laughing and having a good time! we watched all 4. haha thus im tired. but it was well worth it i think both of us needed that!.



But i wanted to chat about the turtles and because they are awesome who doesn't! you know but i hope and strive that we can be more like them paient, curdious, kind, etc. and be a botherhood. or sister hood. either one is great! and you know how they say it! COWABUNGA!!!!!!

IM FINALLY DONE!!!! HAHAH

so i finally finished that 30 day blog im sorry its taken what almost 3 months to do... yikes i apologize. but now ive found another that will keep me enticed and ill fulfill it to the end! :) anywho i hpe you all enjoyed what i post. you guys are all awesome! thanks for all you do! love you guys all! :)

Day 30. Who are you?

To start things off my name is mike and im Fluffy... I love wrestling. its has influenced my life. i did 4yrs in highschool and i might for college. but what i went through in highschool with wrestling just made me stronger. you know as they say... "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Anyways i love drawing. when i draw its like being in my own world. I put my ideas and creativity on paper. dancing is big in my life as well. Krumping to be exact. It totally brings out the best of me. most people think that just because im a big kid doesnt mean i know how to get down. but trust me i do!!

I'm from fresno, california. born and almost raised there. but then i moved to utah. I have been living here for basically half my life. At first i really regretted moving here, left all my family, friends, but now i love it. I have met great people who have changed my life, as well as my friends. Love you all. I graduated from Pleasant Grove high school year 2007. Im a VIKING ALL THE WAY!! whoot whoot.

Now about me... hmm what can i say. Im basically a teddy bear. i like to cuddle, chill, and eat. sometimes sleep. not all the time though. i love being outdoors and going on trips. chilling with friends and putting smiles on peoples faces. I honestly think thats why im here. :D The thing about me is that im really laid back and chill and when i say im always gonna be there for you i totally mean it. I dont judge people like i did before or in the past. Even when i seem like im the happiest person alive i always seems to have a burden on my shoulders. but i have had a tough life i just try to make the best of it.

For a while i lived without a parent.. it was just my siblings, Phil (19) and Kimmy (17). It has roughly been about 2 years without our mom. Our dad left when we were young, our step dad ran off. its been really tough and ive had to be a adult from a young age. It really tears you apart. You change to care for the people you love as well as the lifestyles. i konw it wasn't easy for our mom to take off, and help a family member in need. i know it was the toughest thing in the world. i can't understand how you can be away from your kids that long and keep your sanity i know it would break me down... one thing about my family is we never give up. we always tread froward with a open mind that it will get better. My mother is finally back. now i can't live my life less stressed because i know my mom can finally take over and be the parent she always wanted to be and now i can work on my own things. i wanna prepare for a mission, go to school, be a kid i couldn't be. i know that things will turn for the best. and i cannot wait to brace what the future holds.

Life is a blessing. Your never promised tomorrow... so live it as if it were your last. If you ain't laughing you ain't living!

Love you guys all, as well as followers and friends and family, Much loves!

Day 29. in this past month, what have you learned?

hmm... lets see what have i learned in the past month?

that i love my roomates. ive reunited with old freinds, living on your own is still way harder than i thought. life is going good.

ive learned new meanings to when it comes to the gospel and what a amazing thing it is and has been to me and my family and friends :). i love this experience and i hope i lose enough weight for my mission!
i learned that insanity (the workout) lives up to its name. theres a million differnet things.
ive learned to cope with my trails. i know the lord will never put me in a situation he knows i won't handle wish i would of known that earlier but im glad its taken me this long to figure that out. 

but mostly ive learn who i am better. that im a strong individual. that life not always will hand you lemonade. but he will give you the supplies to make your own.  i love what has come into my life and can't wait to see what else comes in store! :)

Day 28. a picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then.

Alright im stoked about this one! i hopefully think you can see a difference in me!

So this is a picture of me and my sibs at a friends wedding reception. we look fly i love it! at this time i weight about 360. and i think i was diabetic this time. oh at least found out i was. i was a big boy still am now.  but lately ive been doing this work out called insanity! since then ive lost alot of weight.  you all ready for what i look like now! :)
 

This is me now! weighing at a whopping 310! :) i look good and i feel great! thanks insanity for that awesome workout cant' wait till i start it up again and get that six pack ive longed for! :) plus the new addition to me is my sick mohawk and steps! :) love it!

so this is what i used to look like to what i do look like now :) here ya go!

"Our Deepest Fear"

so i watched Coach Carter last night. and theres a quote in it that hits me everytime i hear it. its when they are in the gym after the lockout ended and Timo Cruz stands up and answers the question Coach Carter ask. which is "what is your deepest fear?" Timo says "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I truley believe this is true. ive been through sooo many trails and some days i feel like why. but i know that with our Heavenly father he will never put us through something we can't handle. i really like the line "We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone." it has been through my friends that ive been able to get through it all. as well through prayer and faith, and my wonderful siblings. we are who we are. and what we go through will strenghenth us in the end. i love this quote and i applie it to my life and recommend everyone does to.

anywho i just had to put that out! love this movie and the principles it shows! :)

Day 27. why are you doing this 30 day challenge

i guess the reason i did this 30 day challenge was to have it start a habit of blogging everyday or close to everyday, unfortunatly i failed miserably i didnt' stay up with it and now im finally finishin up in like a 3 month fram.. what the heck i know im sorry! but i will finish this up and try my best to blog more. my friend introduced me to the 30 day blog. and i just was soo excited and pump to start i started out well and was doing good then things came up and so on and so forth! lol. but it taught me how to think, feel and express my self through writing. which is a great quality! and i appreciate all those who do it. its not easy and its time consuming to. so my hat goes out to those who do it regularly! i promise i will finish this and maybe ill start it up again. but i will keep bloggin for a while i am going on a mission soon. so hopefully ill find someone to blog for me and keep at it for 2 years! hahahah. anywho there you have it. :) love you all!

Day 26. what you think about your friends

ive always thought about this. i have a lot of frineds some i wish i could still be friends with but we have grown apart. other i have that i cherish and love! we have good times. my friends and i know how to have fun its alwasy like that. we always try to up the next day. we are never bored. my friends mean the world to me. ever since i was alone with my sibs my friends and leaders were my support and boy they knew how to hlep out. there was never i time i thought i was cursed or was gonna fail. well i felt like i was but i was never in doubt that i wouldnt' get through it. and its through my friends and family that im the way i am. taht im this jolly guy who loves his life. i care for everyone. weather it be a barley known. a old friend, new friend, whatever it may be. its the reason i live fore to make new friends visit with old. friends are really what makes you wanna live. personally that is what i feel. :) but my friends are awesome and know me and love me for who i am. and im glad ive got to known each and every one of them.

Day 25. what i would find in your bag

this really will be short and sweet! haha. jk. so im not a girl so i dont' have a bag the only bags i have are my gym bag and wrestling bag. so here you go!

Gym Bag
Consists of 1 pair of track shoes
Shirt
Shorts
Water Bottle
Ipod

Wrestling Bag
3 Shrits (because you sweat a ton...)
2 Shorts same reason.. ha
Ipod
My sick adidas blue wrestling shoes
knee pad
Headgear
Mouth piece


so that is what i have in my bags! ha

Day 24. a letter to your parents

 so i think its mainly towards my dad who left me when i was young. so here it is!

Dad,

its me your son mike. you probably don't know much of me because you have been gone 20 yrs of my life. im now 21. having the opportunitiy to meet you last year was great. ive had a heart soo empty becuase you were not a part of it. now that ive met you its now whole, mostly. even tho we have met and gotten to chat and know each other a bit better, im still sooo frustrated with you. im mad at your leaving. why? what did i do wrong? did you not love me? theres all these things i want to confront you about and i know i can't or im scared.what was soo hard about being there for me. i had to learn how to fight without you. shave, meet girls girls are sooo scary! my first date. i had 20 birthdays without you! how could you leave wihtout a care. and now you all of sudden care! how dare you try to step in my life after you bailed like a coward. dad. i want to love you. but how can i trust you to stay with me. to love me. theres soo much in my lifeat stake from trustin you agian. my life has been terrible without you. i feel lost. i have other father figures to look too but its not the same as having a real father. im mad at my mom, for leaving me wiht the kids for 2 yrs to take care of other business. how can you adults leave your cherish ones! how! how!!!!! we do nothign but be the kids you would like us to be. you have kim my sister your daughter who is now on the road to mess up. trying to act like a adult when she should be enjoying life as a kid. getting into trouble. being a hard head. but no she different growing up too fast! and i have phil a brother, a son to you. who smoke weed, has all this potentinal in life but can't seem to go anywhere becuase he chooses a drug over a safe free sober life. i don't mean to put you in the spot i don't i want to love you, we all want to. i wanna be able to look at the family and know i love you guys! i hope that it will change and be better.
i pray for you dad. and for mom. to be able to show your kids how to love.....


Mike.

Day 23. something you crave for a lot

PPT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


this will be short and sweet!

something ive been craving for is PPT! i was talkign about it last night with soem friends! PPT is (power progressive tumbling) its a gym with spring boards and tramps and all this crazy stuff! i love it! :) ive been craving it for a loooooong time and im gonna actually after doing this post look up times and get it reserved for a grand time! :) anywho when i find the times and date ill be sure to let you all know! :)

Day 22. what makes you different from everyone else

hm... what makes me different from everyone else... this will be a good one! :)

Type 2 Diabetic

so i was diagnose with Diabeties back in July of 2010. 2 weeks before my 21 bday. Sucky i know! but being diabetic has taught me alot. eating healthier, be in better shape. watch what i eat. (counting calories is sooo hard... ) ha. but i know it makes me different from everyone. because its shows me to be a example like when i would hang out with my friends we would do betos runs at night after a hang out, and betos is really greasy. now when we go i just watch them eat i don't wanna stuff my face with that stuff. before it was appealing to eat that now i get sick. now im loving my life with diabeties i try to eat better im working out and slimming down! i love it! :) so yea theres one

Childhood


so i had a rough childhood. grew up too fast. had a job at like 13. working paycheck to paycheck to live. but i don't regret it cuz it taught me good work ethics and that s what everyone needs. the sad part about my childhood is i never got to see the disney movies until recently... and its just the classical ones (lion king, alladin, toy story, mulan, hercules. etc.) the list goes on. but i had a rough childhood cousins getting into gangs, my hometown you heard gunshots eveynight. it was a bad place to grow up in. then my mom made the best decision for me we packed up and moved to utah. at first i hated it but then i came by saw that no one made fun of the way i looked like before. it was a great time in my life and it only got better. when i turned 16 i joined the church! :) and now im planing on serving a mission! :) so yea

another thing is when i had to take care of my sibs alone for 2 years. it was really hard but it made me stronger and it turned me into who i am today. now my sibs and i we are closer than ever! we are just a trifecta of awesomeness! i love those two! Phil and Kim! my joys in my life.

so i would say my sickness, and the way i lived makes me different to who everyone else is.
ive gone thru alot of crap in my life my friend Kassie and Josh tell me that because of the trials i go thru. i will be a better person from it. and i truely believe that :) so there you have it. my sickness and my trails/childhood are what makes me different! haha. oh ps i can break dance too! hahaha. anywho. thata nother story for another time!

Day 21. a picture of something that makes you happy

so something that makes me happy are Pitbulls. they are the cutest little things and the toughest little things too. its like seeing a animal version of me! my first thought of pitbulls was i was afraid of them i never wnated to be around one, if i ever saw one i would run or shoot it. but that all changed 2 yrs ago when my brother adopted one. as a puppy. they are the cutest little things! he named him Chico. he very pretty.  pretty buff for his size we plan on making him bigger! haha.  i truly grafeful my brother got chico he change my point of view on the dogs they are really nice and great. i love pitbulls now everywhere i go i always point one out and say how awesome it is! ha pretty much pits are awesome! get one. but be ready for a challenge cuz they are hardheaded. here are some pics!

                                             These is what a puppy pit looks like soooo cute! i love them!

                                                

                                       This is Chico! our little guy! he about 2 y rs now i love his skin!
he truley is the most adorable dog ever! very hyper and very friendly the most he will do is lick  you to death!

he is such a cuddle buddy! he sooo warm too great for durnig the winter, horrible for the summer! ha.

there you have it chico is that something that makse me happy ;)

Day 20. someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

hmm... this one is weird. cuz i don't see myself with anyone. in the next future i plan on serving a full time mission and girls will be the last thing on my mind.. lol but after that i do hope to marry someone truley awesome. who is loving, caring, kind, all the juicy stuff. lol. she has to be a great cook. and know how to make me laugh. cuz i hate having to do all the work! ha. i guess i never really thought about marraige guess its because ive never had a relationship.. i dunno. all my buddies are married. but i dont' think im ready.. this one is gonna be short cuz its not somthing i really think about. lol.

FHE!!!!!

So latley ive been kinda scared of going to a new singles ward i guess becuase i move so much im afraid i will make a ton of friends and then lose them. so last night after doing a insanity workout (which i dominated!) i got the courage to get all prettyed up and head to fhe. i heard we were going ice skating so i wasn't to happy bout that cuz im already sore. ha. so we get there and a lot of ppl showed up. like 40 plus we were combining with another ward. which was dope! so we went to midway to see the "Ice Sculptures" they were really cool. they had little ones and big ones and weird ones haha. we couldn't walk through them tho. which was sad. because utah is bipolar and it was melting them! but i went with some freinds i met thru my ward. Makelle, Jordan, Ben. funny part was there was this one spot that jordans foot fell through and the second i get there she says watccc... and BOOM my ankle slipped into a pocket of ice and i was stuck.... dang ice! a girl in my ward got a picture of me stuck... it was pretty funny. ben is over here poking at the ice to break it so i can get out! haha. then we went to some rich familys house. out in the middle of no where! we had pizza, i bet ben in pool, kinda hustled him... haha but all in all a great night! :D

heres a pic of us next to one. (sorry my phone sucks at pictures!)

                                                               (Me,Ben,Jordan,Makelle)
                       
another fun thing i did yesterday was i redid my steps in my hair! :D they look great! (thanks Jess!)

love my hair do. its very mikey!  i love it!  so here what it looks like!

yes! looks dope doesn't it! excuse the huge hump i have on my back! otherwise its looks awesome! :D
so that consist of my monday night. lots happened and yea... haha.  anywho! love you guys! peace!

Day-19 nicknames you have; why you have them

as you can see i did this at 6 in the morning... lol so hopefully my brain works this early and i can remember all my nicknames... ugh there is soooo many! ha.

Mikey- this is always been a nickname for myself and for others i get this alot.

Buddha- this one was introduced to me when someone told me i was on tv. come to find out i was compared to Big Buddha off the news lol.

Bubba- a girl i knew in jr high called me bubba. since then only she has called me that. too bad we arent' friends anymore and don't keep in touch ;(

Fluffy- My newest nickname! ha. this is how i introduced myself to my group of friends now. and its starting to stick lol. too bad i wont' be able to be called this any time soon. (insanity is trimming me down!)

Maka- mainly my homies call me this. such as zach, ster! we were such a Trifecta!

Makalee- I think Bri and I made this one up. lol. but it was nice cuz if you say it really fast its like sayin (Michael Le) hahah.

Lee- everyone in my high school called me this that was in sports so like the football team, wrestling team, other sports teams. also coaches always called each player by their last name.

Lowry- my buddies Dee, Trevor, Brad would call me Lowry (off the movie "bad boys") we had fun with that.

Big M- My buddy Dallas calls me this all the time. pretty funny too. cuz i call him Big D! ha. good times

Well there are all the nicknames i have. so far as i can remember. they are very special to me! and i can't wait to get new ones! ha.

Day-18 plans/dreams/goals you have.

lets see... uh plans, dreams, goals i have.. ha. sweet lets dive right in!

Plans
some plans i have is to go on a Lds Mission! ive been doing the work out Insanity and im hoping by sticking with it and pushing myself i will be able to lose the weight that i need so i cna go on my mission.

another is be fully independant on my own. no help i need to be a grown up. no more sheltered and being manupulated.

Maybe attend some school. im being too lazy and i should really stop. ha.
Meet new ppl. :D
thats pretty much it. i cna't think of anymore.. haha.

Dreams..

some dreams that i have is to get married after the mission of course, get a career, finish school.
have kids you know the mushy stuff. haha.

Goals..
 i want to be able to serve a Lds Mission
Finsh and keep up with the workout Insanity.
bond closer with my family.
keep a job longer than 4 months
 maintaining a normal sugar level for my diabeties.

there you have it. at least from what my brain would process at like 7 in the morning ;) haha.

Day-17 someone you would want to switch lives with and why.

hmm... well im sitting here at work. bored. its slow which is odd to me. but i was reading this day post and the person i would wanna switch lives with is my little brother. he smokes weed, gets into trouble, has a weird vibe to everything in life. i guess im curious. curious to what he does with all his time. im often sitting and thinking what does he do... he has all this potential and it seems like he doesn't want to use it! makes me sad. and i bet he probably wonders the same thing with me. what does mikey do all the time. does he really have mormony things all day long. i dunno i think it would be awesome if i could switch lives with my bro. and see what it is like to be him for a day or so. i bet i would only last a day or so.  i think it would let me bond with him more if i knew what his life was like. i i bet its the same thing for him if he jumped into mine. its really hard for me to understand my brothers way. cuz ive never done drugs or drink like he does. and probably vise versa. shoot. i wish there was more to say. in my mind it seems like i have all this to say. but it looks liek its all be said. i hate when stuff like that happens it happens to me all the freaking time! ugh. oh well... but if i could change with one person i choose my little bro Phil. just to see what he does, what he feels, thinks, sees. and hopuflly it doens't turn out to be like a Freaky Friday hahaha. anywho theres my post. love ya!

MIkey

INSANITY!!!!!

So lately for the past 2 weeks ive been doing insanity the workout. Holy freaking heck! its sooo tough. its straight cardio. actually here one sec... ill get you the definition! hahaha.

In order to achieve maximum Insanity workout results you will have to put forth maximum effort. Using MAX Interval Training, Insanity workouts blast fat with extreme cardio and sculpt muscles with high intensity strength training. The Insanity workout results of this combination are a lean, strong body with low body fat and truly insane definition.

pretty intense huh... haha. but i love it i feel refreshed and after the two months ill be the hottest guy alive! :D haha. anywho. just wnated to talk about it its way good and it works!

ive already lost 2 shirt sizes and almost 2 pants sizes! and ppl and touch their fingers when they hug me! :D its awesome anyhwo. insanity is legit and im glad im doing it. anyone else who wants to let me know ill hook you up! but you cnat be lazy this will push you to your limits and farther! it reminds me of wrestling. so let me know! word to ya mother! :D peace.

Day-16 another picture of me

soooo i guess you guys are pretty fond of me since you wanna see alot of picutres of me. hahahha jk.

welll here you have it! another pic of mikey! :D